Mannequin beer bong is Raider Nations’ attempt to rebrand as creative drinkers.
Back in college I dated a woman from the Bay Area who was a diehard Raiders fan. As a short blonde cheerleader, she was the antithesis of fans donning black face paint and spiked shoulder pads with murder in their eyes. What she did share in common with the rest of Raider Nation though were impressive pre-game skills. Sadly this mannequin beer bong wasn’t around back when I was going to games.
I’ve seen a lot of beer bongs in my day, but none quite as creative as the mannequin beer bong. Why bother with a Flabongo when you can drink from a plastic woman’s crotch? It’s that perfect level of perverse at which no one can resist going down on it. Of course it’s also a safe bet that everyone now has oral herpes because they didn’t think to bring their dental dam to the Oakland Coliseum. And that whole “alcohol kills bacteria” lie we tell ourselves doesn’t apply to beer with less than 5% booze.