Johnnie Walker Makes Booze Shoes – Someone Tell Archer

booze shoes

For years we’ve been suffering shoes that don’t contribute to our intoxication. That stops now. These booze shoes are perfect for the Sterling Archer in all of us.

Shoes have been used for a lot of things: phones, bombs, sock protection. But with the exception of Reef’s sandal flask, a logistical nightmare, footwear has done very little to store alcohol. There’s never been a lazier product. Thankfully Johnnie Walker came along a changed everything.

This limited edition “Johnnie Walker Oliver Sweeney Brogue” (I don’t know what 3 of those 5 words mean) will have you looking dapper and feeling drunk. That’s assuming you can get drunk from a nip of whisky, but I don’t want to ruin this glorious moment with that sort of logic though.

My only problem with these booze shoes is $490 price tag. If you’re dropping $500 on a shoe, you better not be drinking Johnnie Walker Red. It’s Blue or bust.

Booze shoes from Oliver Sweeney
booze shoes

Colin Joliat
About Colin Joliat 346 Articles
Colin Joliat is the brains behind this rinky-dink operation. He covers the alcohol industry with two parts information, one part comedy, and one part WTF is wrong with this guy. He's written for Brobible, Guyism, Thrillist, CoolMaterial, Craft, and more.