It’s that time of year again when we all struggle to come up with Father’s Day gifts. That also means it’s time for another roundup of awesome stuff we think you should get the man to whom you owe your existence. And don’t forget, you’re 50% your dad, so you’re entitled to consume half of whatever Father’s Day gifts you buy him. Choose wisely.
Dad Who’s the Quintessential Grillmaster
Rufus Teague BBQ Sauce Fountain – He might be a maestro over the coals, but he’s nothing until he can make whiskey maple BBQ sauce rain down upon his creations with ease. It’s like fondue, only 478% better.
Dad Who Claims to Have Everything He Needs
Eau de Musc – If dad has everything he needs, get him something he didn’t know existed, like this straight bourbon whiskey flavored infused with the oil found in beaver’s castor sacs. That’s right; it’s beaver flavored whiskey.
Dad Who Can’t Regulate Cologne Application
Duke Cannon Bourbon Solid Cologne – No one is good at spritzing just the right amount of cologne. Skip the mist all together with Duke Cannon’s new rub-on cologne that’s meant to smell like the rackhouses of Buffalo Trace Distillery.
Dad Who Drinks a Manhattan Every Night
Knob Creek Cask Strength Rye Whiskey – The latest and greatest from one of the best rye whiskey brands in the game. At cask strength it packs a punch and takes the now borderline boring Manhattan back up to primetime.
New Dad Who’s Going Through Bar Withdrawal
Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser – Having a kid means a huge uptick in time spent at home. Fizzics uses sound waves to make any beer taste like it’s straight from the tap. It won’t stop his kid’s screaming, but it can numb the pain.
Dad Who Always Has Some Crazy Story To Tell
Wild Turkey Master’s Keep Revival – Short version: Jimmy Russell made sherry-infused Wild Turkey back in the early 00’s. Now to pay homage, Eddie Russell took 12-15 year old bourbon and finished it in 20-year-old Oloroso Sherry casks.
Dad Who Actually Says “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere”
Mount Gay Rum Regatta Watch – Watches are standard gifts, but this one is perfect for the man who’s serious about hosting cocktail hour every night. Maybe throw in a bottle of rum while you’re at it. Combined they’re the best Father’s Day gifts.
Dad Who’s Always Grumpy In The Morning
FEW Breakfast Gin – There’s no better way to start the day than with a cocktail, and dad doesn’t have to feel bad about it even though it’s Wednesday because it says “breakfast” right there on the bottle. Also it’s delicious.
Dad Who’s Actually Nick Offerman
Dad Who Likes What Other’s Can’t Have
Aberlour US Single Cask – Only one barrel of this masterful 16-year-old scotch made it’s way to the United States, so you can bet your bottom dollar your dad will be the only one on the block with a bottle. Just be sure he shares with you.
Dad Who Always Suggests You Go Camping
Laphroaig Lore – It’s one of the biggest, smokiest whiskies on the market, so you should be able to split a bottle with pops and skip the whole “time around the campfire” part of the weekend. Smoke should be in your whisky not your eyes.
Dad Who Occasionally Likes To Pop a Pinky
Cooper & Thief 2014 Red Blend – There are plenty of occasions when wine is more appropriate, potentially even better, than whiskey. But he doesn’t have to sell out his true passion. Just get him wine that’s aged for three months in bourbon barrels. Win/win.
Dad Who’s Still Threatening To Move To Canada
Crown Royal 13-Year-Old Blenders’ Mash – This 13-year old corn heavy whisky will remind him of the bourbon he used to get back before he fled the country. It’s just a hint of America north of the border.
Dad Who Embarrassingly Still Has a Bottle Collection
Milagro Select Barrel Reserve Añejo – Yes, there are still grown men who keep empty liquor bottle lying around. If you’re going to contribute, it might as well be a beautiful bottle that contains equally glorious tequila.
Dad Who Goes To Church Every Sunday
Angel’s Envy Cask Strength Bourbon Finished in Port Barrels – I’m about 70% sure this is blasphemy, but if you’re going to hell you might as well head there drunk. I can’t think of a better bottle on which to go out. Say hi to Constantine for me.