Colin Joliat
New Castle is broke like us, so they got creative for this year’s Super Bowl commercial.
Unlike every other jackwagon these days, New Castle didn’t turn to crowdfunding when they realized they were broke. They got creative and formed the Band of Brands. What’s that, you ask? It’s basically a NASCAR… but to sell beer. Who let this commercial through compliance?
Anyway, the Band of Brands commercial is brilliant. I now support all these brands because they clearly have a sense of humor. For example, I’m ready to fire up some Rotel, assuming it actually exists in real life. I’ve only ever seen it in commercials.
Also, New Castle isn’t actually broke. They’ve got Aubry Plaza money. I don’t know what her going rate is these days, but it’s probably more than we make in a year. I hope they offered to pay her in beer, and I hope she accepted. That would officially make her the greatest woman on the planet. Apologies to my girlfriend, but she’s done.
